Welcome to Life in Slow Motion where I write about pain, illness, disability, and the interrelationships between our physical, emotional, and spiritual health. My desire is to understand how God calls his people to live in the midst of chronic physical and emotional suffering.

Why do I write about such topics?

Several years ago, chronic pain entered my life as a seemingly innocent injury that over time morphed into a vicious and deteriorating cycle of severe pain turned chronic. When chronic pain took hold, I stepped into a parallel universe of sickness. I walked into a cross-cultural world of pain and suffering that existed right next to those in good health, but followed a completely different set of customs, rules, and expectations.

Perhaps you find yourself in a similar place. If so, you know that nothing can prepare a person for the transition from healthy to sick, from fully-functioning to barely able to get out of bed. You know that nothing can prepare a person for the way in which chronic pain derails every single dream you ever had for a “normal” life. You also know that pain, illness, and disability bring innumerable and unique problems that you never had to face before: questions that don’t have easy answers, situations that feel foreign, struggles that never existed before.

Much of my writing seeks to understand this strange world I live in, attempting to provide insights and answers for myself and others who live this same reality. Although my health is currently more stable and my pain much less severe than in the past, I still experience constant pain and significant limitations that make my life quite different from the healthy people around me. And I have so many questions about what I experienced in the past and what I continue to experience to a lesser extent today.

Throughout these years of pain, I have often asked myself variations of the question, “What should we do when the pain doesn’t go away?”

What practical steps should we take to get through the day? What do we do with the guilt and shame and depression and limitations? What about relating to the people around us who don’t understand? What do we do when God commands us to serve, but we can barely leave the house? It is questions like this that I want to address in this blog.

I desire to better understand how Christians should live in the midst of severe and limiting physical and mental conditions that are chronic and intractable in nature. These are conditions that can be relieved and helped by medical treatment to a certain extent, but apart from divine miraculous intervention, can not be expected to heal in this lifetime.

Most of what I have to say on this topic comes from my personal experience with chronic pain, but I am also a licensed counselor with an MA in Professional Counseling and biblical counseling training through the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation. I met Jesus at a young age and continue to have a personal relationship with Him. He is the one who heals my soul, walks with me through each valley of chronic pain, and gives me hope for full healing and freedom when I leave this earth. It is my desire that you can meet Him too. I still have many questions, but of Him I am sure – He is our ultimate hope when the pain doesn’t go away.

Welcome to my corner of the web. My name is Esther, and I am so happy to meet you. 

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